Copywriter: NASA rover Perseverance indicates early Life on Mars consisted of mods and rockers

Is there life on Mars?

NASA’s Perseverance rover has the unenviable task of spending the next two Earth years collecting rock and soil samples, as reported in The Times today. It would have to be a robot, I can’t think of any person who would want that gig.

Life on Mars, the David Bowie classic, was released in 1971 – 50 years ago (checks wrinkles in the mirror), and I think that was when they propelled Perseverance into space too.

It’s landed on a Delta, that isn’t blue, more sort of rocky and a bit dull. Any water would have been microbial, as is most people’s interest of life on Mars. 

Anyway, Europe sent a robot too- the European Space Agency – and its being sent to collect the metal ‘‘cigar tube’’ samples collected by Perseverance, like a minimum wage glass collector, or, me and my ex. 

So I definitely think the independent UK should send it’s own robot, to a different part of Mars, an island-y bit, because where the other robots landed looks boring. There could be loads of cool rocks on the dark side of Mars. If you held the next World Cup there, half of Britain would go.

Obviously the A-Team would have to build the robot. Hannibal is bound to have some cigar holders. Mad Murdoch would definitely want to go into space, and Face would, if there was a lady robot too, probably. I doubt Mr T would though. Call it a hunch. 

I reckon smooth talking Rishi Sunak could convince Boris to ride the British rocket as it lands on Mars, in 2030, Dr Strangelove style, waving to the cameras in the PR moment of the century. It would be sponsored by Red Bull ofcourse, and definitely not Coca cola. Rishi has that one covered.

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From tiny acorns mighty oaks grow.

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